I do selfies wrong, too. I have so much fun doing them, and it's very cathartic, but they're more like self-portraits than a real selfie. Too poetic, too intense, not lighthearted and flattering enough. Often literal paintings that I've dug up and coopted, just to spend an hour revamping to emote through an image.
Like some starving artist, sitting in their attic and frantically scribbling all over the canvas. I have to make you seeeeee what I am feeeeeeeling. You don't understaaaaand. I have to show you how it feeeeeels.
I haven't yet cut off my ear and mailed it to my sibling, but I feel like that's advanced self-portraiting, and I'm not quite there, yet.