But you also don't choose which pool mines your tx

Unless you have a direct connect with a miner.

My point is, the average user of Bitcoin, just sending and receiving, have NO control over which miner plucks their tx out of mempool to include in block.

You can't avoid using them..

I'm approaching it from a consumer/user side.

If you are mining, yes you can just avoid those pools/ point hash at different mining pool.