Im gonna have to disagree in part to the "women" part. Having been the older sister that babysat constantly, the older cousin that babysat constantly, the oldest grandchild that helped the grandparents AND great grandparents constantly, it did nothing to increase my patience once I became a mother. In fact, by the time I got to my own children I had far less patience than I would have had I just been allowed to grow and learn as a child and not a little adult because I was tired of being in charge of everyone else's everything.
Discussion
I am sorry that you had that experience growing up. I also had a tremendous amount of responsibility placed on me from a very young age, and I can see how it could have led to resentment.
It sounds to me like, instead of being given the opportunity to gradually develop your caring skills, you were simply dumped on, and that is very different. I understand what you are saying. I have spoken with other women who had similar experiences, where negligent parents placed an excessive burden of responsibility on them rather than gifting them just the right amount.
I have seen the same dynamic with both men and women who were forced to work too many hours from a young age. It often created resentment toward work itself, because they were not able to enjoy its rewards, especially if the work was either futile or for a family business where they saw no personal benefit.
Of course, there must be balance. By the time a person is around fourteen years old, most have a natural desire to be productive, to work and to contribute something to the family and to society. It is also completely normal to want to gain some advantage or benefit for ourselves from that work and to have some recreation as well.
I as a 7 year old child worked very hard, I laminated wood door panels, sprayed the doors at 11 PM so dad could get his contract done in the morning. When I turned 11 I one time gave my dad my time sheet with 1000 hours on it un paid. He nearly laid a brick, but fair is fair. He scrimped and paid the 3,500.00 in cash to me.
It built me. tempered me. I learned the value of hard work, sweat and the principles of a deal. I had nothing given to me. Everything was earned. When I turned 16 I had my own horse, beehive, dog, car and was well on my way to manhood. Was it hard? yes. At time was I bitter? yes! But I am a far better man.