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The Beave

I'm very good at it. So good that sometimes, people just come up and start talking to me.

1. Be authentic.

2. Eye contact. (This is trainable.)

3. Short and sweet. (say hi, ask, genuinely, how they are, then STFU and let them talk.)

pollyanna 1y ago

thank you so much! I think I do most of what you said, except for the saying hi part.

when I read your comment I felt like I was wasting your time writing in a confusing way and you came and wrote me this kind and attentive tip.

and now that gives me a tip of why it's so hard for me to say hi. I feel like I'm invading people's space and taking their time. if I don't say hi, it's like I'm throwing words or my presence to the wind so people don't feel they have to engage with me, only if they really want to.

I have a question for you ahaha what does it mean when you react with 🤔? 😬

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The Beave 1y ago

You're welcome!

What's the absolute worst that's likely to happen if someone REALLY doesn't want to engage with you? They might make a rude comment and move on with their life. Right? So... Just start saying hi to more people. I do it when I'm on my walks after dinner. Sometimes it's just a friendly nod to people if they have headphones on or a quick hi if they are jogging past.

I didn't think you were wasting my time or that it was a confusing note.

The feeling of invading people's space is usually a good thing. That means you are conscious of others and don't wish to infringe on their space. But... Being overly conscious of that also makes things awkward, especially for you. Nearly no one will mind someone saying hello to them, especially if it's from a friendly source with a smile and a modicum of attention. Small amounts of genuine engagement are really all you need to spark something more from people, since there's honestly a dearth of that in most modern society. If you want to engage with people, do so. It takes practice. It's OK to fail. I even do at times. 🤷‍♂️ It's really not a big deal.

I'm chuckling since you're the second person to ask me that very question. It's mostly an acknowledgement that I've read your note and have given it at least a bit of thought.

pollyanna 1y ago

thank you for your kindness (and I won't forget about this).

I think this whole time I was overthinking and maybe it is simpler than I thought. I'll observe the next time I go outside.

today my sister sent me an okra recipe haha it reminded me of you. it was the first food my daughter ate and she loved it.

now I understand what the reaction is about. I used to think you were in doubt about the note, since the first time you reacted like this. I think in an answer to sgt fish haha it leaves a mark.

good night, beave! thanks for everything. :)

The Beave 1y ago

If it was of some help, it is my pleasure!

Yes, you are making it too complicated. Besides, a woman can "get away with" more, even in this day and age, so, go and have some awkward fun trying new things out.

Okra. Ugh. UGH!! 🤢

Nope. Not doubt at all. That would be more like this: 🙄🤨😐😮‍💨

I'm fairly consistent. I get accused of being boring at times.

Goodnight. Rest well. Again, you're welcome. ❤️ 🌃🫂