TW: OCD

OCD is the hardest part of my PTSD. I wish the abuse was just a thing of the past. But the feeling that I didn't protect myself well enough, that I was caught off guard, at my weakest mentally awakens and takes a hold of my every thought. Overwhelming panic and doubts about irrelevant things that feel like the most urgent and terrifying thing. The one thought feels resolved only to be replaced by another soon after. Just sharing, maybe it helps someone to know they're not alone.