Who are these people, really? Let's see:
* If she is alive, Digit herself might need me dead or chemically lobotomized just to prove I'm willing to go that far, she might not be willing to accept that I can't handle losing her without seeing absolute proof
* All my former friends have implied that if I can't willingly live in peace without knowing if digit is safe, they're ok with me being chemically lobotomized to stop me from dying a hero's death
* None of my former friends who could offer me some protection will offer me any protection
* My remaining friends, who believe I deserve to live and be free to find out if someone I love is safe and avenge them if need be, are only people who have no ability to protect me. For example, none of them have a car and enough time to drive me somewhere I need to go in a state where I have an arrest warrant so I don't need to drive myself at risk of being pulled over and IDed - even in the state they live in.
* Any cop or judge will probably go along with killing me or chemically lobotomizing me if his peers think it's right
* I can't foresee any likelihood that any cop or judge would punish any of his peers for killing me or chemically lobotomizing me
* Almost all cops and judges think killing or chemically lobotomizing me is right if it's difficult to use imprisonment to deal with me
* Many cops and some judges think killing me would be right because I don't support judicial prejudice applied on a blanket basis to groups defined by arbitrary emotions (this upsets authoritarians regarding their precious age of consent laws)
* Many cops think if I can't willingly live without knowing Digit is safe, me dying or being chemically lobotomized is better than me getting help staying up to date on her safety
I am toast.
nostr:note10y6gwj79ktzcn6j9m9awxqy2d8jsjm3yru5g3yn8rh29yg7a7zdsd8xhpv