Oh, I agree with that. And I don't think it's hopeless.

I'm just saying that changing the way we speak about wives and marriage, in general, could have an effect of making marriage more appealing to young women. We have to frame our arguments for the audience we are addressing, and I think we have collectively failed to do that.

One of the small, but effective, things we can do, is to simply openly acknowledge and clearly state that we are asking them to sacrifice personally and do something that is difficult and challenging, and that we value their willingness to adopt that burden because it is good for all of us, in aggregate, and their family and neighborhood, in particular.

Tell them the truth. No more gaslighting. No more romanticism. No more decades-long search for Mr. 6/6/6. Return to the concept of marriage as a vocation.