I don’t know. An intimate relationship is an attachment. In theory, a stoic would be unconcerned about losing it, because his or her happiness isn’t dependent on other people. I find it difficult to take that attitude.

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I don’t know that I would want to be in a serious relationship that I felt unattached to losing. I think it’s also common to have a fear of truly being seen. Intimate relationships are frequently a mirror.

Yeah, I know. Then one person tries to be cool instead of genuine, which sabotages the intimacy.

Sometimes you’ve got to put your heart on the table and hand someone a butcher’s knife. Risk getting hurt. I don’t know how people get into romantic relationships without taking risks. You’ve got to find someone you can be your normal dorky self with or who wants to push past the barrier of you trying to play it cool. Sometimes it seems like a miracle two people ever fall in love and have a relationship.

Agreed, there’s no point if you’re not vulnerable.

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