Maybe clients should build proxies in or something

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If the client can’t have the proxy because of bandwidth, maybe at least an option a part of onboarding:

Option 1:

You should definitely buy a vpn service before using Nostr

Option 2:

Pay us 20k sats a month to proxy your Nostr events

Some relays already offer that as a service, but IMO there are still many open qustions around how to do it right.