I woke up about 50 minutes ago but stayed in bed, lost in thought. One memory that surfaced was about a guy I briefly dated.

He wasn’t handsome—not a “hot guy” in the conventional sense. I used to joke with friends or on stage during stand-up that I only date hot guys. But this guy was intellectually hot, though physically, he wasn’t attractive. I didn’t mind because I genuinely liked his uniquely clever sense of humor.

We didn’t continue the relationship due to differences in our backgrounds and values. The biggest gap? The type of friends we had. I once overheard his friends mocking his looks. Their humor was sharp, laced with insults. Hearing them made me realize I didn’t want people like that indirectly mocking me for my romantic choices.

It might sound silly—I’m an adult and can date whoever I want. But the discomfort his friends gave me created a strong urge to distance myself. Dating isn’t just about the person; it’s also about the world you’re stepping into. If that means opening doors to the wrong crowd, maybe it’s wiser to step back.