https://next.orly.dev has all of these things, and multiple options for how to control access, a follow/mute list based one, a simple one for curation, an advanced programmable one (including hot-reload of policy) called policy.

i'm working on popping out the policy to become an IPC using a simple API to receive requests for policy decisions, not done yet. i want to ultimately make it so you just set whatever shell command to launch the thing, and then it maintains running it and restarting it, so you can do its configuration separately, perhaps on a configuration API built into the policy ACL plugin.

not done yet tho. and i know there is other things that need to be broken out of the current monolithic structure. but for sure, orly is the easiest for running a community relay.