My favorite type of person is the guy you invite to the party because you feel bad that he’s socially isolated, then he acts like complete asshole and talks about how much the party sucks the whole time.

Yeah, we all know that guy.

I never give up on that guy and always invite him. I don’t know if it’s out of pity or survival instinct, because that guy is also the first one to be skinned and eaten alive by the rest of the group if they’re stranded on a island. He ensures I don’t go hungry.