Over the next week, I might note down a few more thoughts whenever I have time. (Or I might not. These days, I live as if today is my last. Not in a desperate way, but because I see no reason to plan for tomorrow. So, to at least make it through until tomorrow, I need to consciously avoid situations that stress me out or sap my motivation, and instead turn my attention, like a sunflower, to people who can provide me with some positive vibes.)

During that time, I'm sure lower and more childish revenge attacks like yesterday's will come my way.🤔

So, try harder, pickme!💪 Create your own valuable notes that could give him material for retaliation! Not the note written by ChatGPT!🥹 Why do you dare to pretend to know about topics you barely understand, huh?🤣

I just randomly called her "pickme" based on a hunch and experiential trauma, but it turned out she was really a pickme..😨

You might still mistakenly think that your embarrassing action, which you believe to be some sort of retaliation, can provoke my emotions, making me angry or frustrated. But I hope you can now acknowledge that your time of exerting such influence over me ended three years ago.🙂

For the past three years, there was someone I genuinely loved, you know.

Even if he was merely a fake hero I created myself.

Even if his sole purpose was just to capture my attention like hunting.

Back then, because I didn't fully understand what kind of man he was, maybe I was thankful for him trying so hard to win over (just hitting on😑) my stray heart.

Thanks to him, I was able to move on so quickly from the sense of betrayal you caused me. That's why I tried to stay loyal to him, even when I realized midway that something was seriously wrong.

And so, now, even if I see his mask coming off,

no living, breathing person can overcome such feelings overnight.

Especially if my emotions came purely from sincere human affection, without any sort of plot or something.

If a real human being, anyone would need at least a minimum amount of time to recover from the sudden shock and disappointment.

But as undeniable facts increasingly reveal that he was a mere illusion I created, I'll probably regain a sense of reality soon, and this tiresome *invisible* saga will come to a permanent close.

If the revenge porn of Valentine's Day was the Styx I could never cross back to Xitter again, then the cringy $5 revenge playback that causes secondhand embarrassment has become the Valentine's Day moment of Nostr. :)

I could brush it off as something trivial, but I can't understand or feel the need to tolerate why you still treat me with such disrespect and insult. How dare you think you have the right to drag me like that when I owe you nothing? Even putting aside the one-sided time and devotion or the money lost from investing in your company's stocks, if we’re going to sink to something as petty as talking about money, rather, haven't I spent quite a lot money on you? And yet, have I ever once brought that up to you until now? Who said I'm just free stuff? Is that how you act when someone treats you well without expecting anything in return?

That being said, I can't fight and win against the king in your kingdom, so it's better to just avoid the 💩. I'll walk away.

It's only disappointing to once again learn that people never truly change for the better.