Switching to yarn "fixed" it

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Yarn is better anyways. The yarn.lock file is actually a proper lock file.

Agreed, I switched back to npm after about 10 years to try it out, and... yeah

The fact npm modifies the package-lock.json file when you run npm install is frustrating. Just install the same set of packages every time.

what do you think of pnpm vs yarn?

I've not played around with it so I can't offer an opinion. My strong preference for choosing tools (especially JS) though is to pick well established, mature libraries/frameworks.

npm is the devil

yes, but also javascript is the devil

Stop using JavaScript. That fixed it for me.

what can I use for nostr web without needing js?