it is important to go insane for the natural world, to feel a terrifying rush of love and tenderness towards the world below and above and around you, and to experience yourself as part of it, instead of something held back from it. it is important to carry mountains, sunlight, trees, and autumn with you, to use it in the narrow hallways of hospitals or the darkness of your bedroom at three o'clock in the morning. even if you can't recall it, somewhere under your ribcage last year's seeds are trying to grow, seeking the sun, driving you with their survival this year and every year next.