I was specifically trying to think of a https://lightning.video like flow without doing something hacky like dms

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Oh. But can you encrypt a content linked to different pubkeys? πŸ€”

If you have privk to content

Have you checked out Squeaknode?

https://github.com/squeaknode/squeaknode

LNBits have a paywall for example https://lnbits.klendazu.com/paywall/T8KtwzgHdyPS24HJTuJdyq yo send to a url you can send to and api that send the note or dm