... a more philosophical question would be is why are you allowing the things that happened to you in your past control how you feel and move forward into the future?

Things that have happened to you are in the past and no longer in your control. What you DO have control over is how you move forward and how you feel about them.

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Because the things that I need to be in my past ie: being stuck with my abusive parents, is my present situation therefore making it incredibly difficult to look past and not let bother me.