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You are on a bus. Man with boner is rubbing his wood on your butt.

What you do?

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Take the phone and smack it with enough force to cripple him for the next three days.

What amazes me is how embarrassed everyone is and won't say anything. A simple

"Get ur dick off me/her freak"

Should be enough to stop the behavior.

At first I'd stop it, but after a few seconds I'd have to commit suicide to prevent the shame from spreading to the rest of my family.