#Nostr I love you but HOLY SHIT can we not tightly couple clients with specific relays?

Tried damus, iris, snort, coracle and in each of them it's not easy to remove all existing relays so you can add a private relay.

I've slowly (miraculously) gotten a whole friend group curious about nostr and am trying to hook them up with a private relay just for them, and they are going to give me so much shit when they try to set up their client with the relay I'm running because it's such a hassle to drop existing relays in most of these clients.

I was going to say damus was the best but just now someone NOT ON MY PRIVATE RELAY liked my note! is the damus relay always on if you are using damus?

Maybe we need a "clean reset" button on clients and users can start from scratch?

Seriously, I love you #nostr - just feeling frustrated because I don't think I can onboard my friend group without carefully walking each of them through setting up their client 1 on 1 to use our private relay and telling them to ignore all the random shit they are going to see on global as they do it.