I learned that the term β€œrelay” is actually not very descriptive, as they don’t actually relay anything, it’s more just a server.

If you route everything through your local relay, and not to any others, then only people connected to your local relay will be able to access your info. Now, you can make it so people can read only your local relay and not fill it up with their junk, but still people not connected won’t see your stuff.

There are some relays feeding lots of relays all their incoming data, but that is not a normal operation.

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So, is the side-effect of this, that if many users are posting on a paid relay, those of us not using said relay may not see their content?

Well, I don’t think so no, but rather they might not see your content. As the paid relays work in a way that allows non payers to read the data, but not write data. If you add a paid relay to your relay list, you’ll be able to read all the content, but other uses won’t see your content unless you pay the relay for the ability to write.

"unless you pay the relay for the ability to write" -- This is starting to sound very dangerously centralized...

Paid relays are centralized, yes. But that isn’t the point of the protocol, the point is you have the option to run your own relay, and host your own data. If you reach out to your friends, family, interested parties, give them your relay information, they can always follow you and read your data. If you become president, and all of your supporters follow your relay, it doesn’t matter if the paid relays stop your data from transmitting, your communications will not be prevented from reaching those who follow your relay.

The idea that centralized services are somehow evil or serve no purpose is not logical. They serve a practical purpose of connecting people who have no previous connection or interaction.

Look what happened to smtp, centralized gatekeepers. You stil need to think about avoiding that.

ISPs are likely the easiest targets too simply shut it all down. Most residential ISPs even have rules that say you can’t run a server for example.