In light of the excessive number of gay holidays we have, I feel there are many things left uncelebrated:

International Fence-Sitters Day: All key decision makers at all levels of government and business MUST remain on the fence when considering at least two different options. Effectively nothing changes day-to-day.

International Sleep with your Celebrity Crush Day: Don't worry husbands, your wife won't leave you for him.

International Bone the Babysitter Day: It only happened once, he swears.

International Plank on a Train Day: Whoever stays on the longest wins.

International Ask for Directions Day: Men typically stay home this day which means there's a big uptick in househokd spending for 48 hours.

International Wear a Melon on your Head Day: There's no good time of year for this one so they made it happen once in Winter and once in the summer.

International Slap a Nun Day: Find one, then slap her!

International Poke a Donkey Day: Hospitalizations up 12% on this holiday! Turns out Donkeys are skittish.

International Show Porn to a Rabbit Day: Just to see what happens.

International Remove the Warning Labels Day: Darwin's favorite holiday!

International Kiss an Electric Fence Day: The second day to feature a fence only far more exciting!

International Day: Just a day.

#memes #grownostr #plebchain