I can't find my "mo presence mo trouble" note so here it is again:
mo presence mo trouble
I don't know whether i'm just becoming more aware of how isolated i really am or i'm getting more isolated the more aware i become?

Supposedly awareness makes the habit being shone on look worse than it is when in reality it is a perception and has always been that bad.
"A man with two watches never knows what time it is"
Have i read too many self help books?
Consciousness is hard, very hard, in the sense of painful.
In place of suffering (which is mental) i'm replacing it with pain.
"to end suffering" -- the #Buddha (supposedly)