I feel this most right now in trying not to be entitled to quiet evenings and weekends. Leisure can be productive — I don't need to (or get to) just sit around and read/play/watch in my quiet time. Better to play music, do woodworking, draw, talk, write, or even do paperwork. The idea that personal energy is a zero-sum game is something I'm still unlearning.
Discussion
That’s a really good framing. Unlearning the zero sum view of energy is huge. I wonder how much of that mindset comes from the industrial model of work, the idea that effort always drains instead of enriches. What helped you start to unlearn that?
I think just being an adult. My kids play rugby on saturdays, things in my house break at inconvenient times, my son is now allowed to stay up late 2 days of the week. I need to read difficult books in the evenings. I have to get up early to accomplish everything. I have to do my taxes, vote, etc.
But also getting older means I won't live forever, and there is so much I want to do. I won't regret not watching TV, but I will regret never building a house, taking my kids backpacking, writing poetry, etc
Exactly. You’re not waiting for permission to live. You’re building, cultivating, serving. That’s the posture. The urgency you feel isn’t anxiety, it’s clarity about what actually matters.
My story is simmilar. Retirement doesn't mean playing golf and drinking Mai-Tai's to me. It's about doing stuff that's more valuable to me than my employer.