I'm also considering scheduling tobacco and alcohol so that they're prescription only, putting them under the purview of the DEA instead of the ATF. Also, deschedule all drugs already scheduled and schedule Tylenol schedule 1, thus putting cocaine under the purview of the FDA.

My people are putting together a proposal package to make it legal for women to be topless in public, but only if they're babes. We will leave it to the courts to determine what is and what is not a babe.

I want to make Halloween a federal holiday.

Everyone gets free toilet paper as wiping your butt is a human right.

Ban congress from outsider trading, make insider trading legal.

Admit the island of navassa as a state.

I will commute the sentence of James Gordon Meek.