Back in 2014, I announced that after eons of neglect and delay during the course and scope of my earthly existence, I had finally gotten around to seeing "The Princess Bride." The response on the part of others was to lose their goddamned minds and call me History's Greatest Monster.

Now, I am off to see "Jaws" for the first time, as it has been re-released in theaters to commemorate the film's 50th anniversary.

Everyone can start freaking out now. And I am sure that everyone will.