Whirlpool Bitcoin.

Use that to open Lightning channels on an ephemeral node.

Use lightning to buy Amazon giftcards.

Use the Amazon gift cards to buy VPN subscription cards

Sell the VPN cards peer to peer at events.

Buy a VPN card peer to peer or from online store accepting lightning

Use that to top up your account.

Always assume the VPN logs your IP and destination traffic even if claimed and reported otherwise. There is no way they can prove they dont.