...but it doesn't work in the "what's your profile" sense because profiles change. The npub is static, which is why "what's your npub" works.

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Maybe #nostrname - I use the #nostrname to locate someone first and then check the npub and nip-05 to see if they’re legit. There is a reasonable code of conduct not to use someone else’s name, but it is hardly trustworthy without the additional checks. Just see nostr:npub1sg6plzptd64u62a878hep2kev88swjh3tw00gjsfl8f237lmu63q0uf63m and see how many jacks are out there.