You must be a developer!

Only a developer would tell you the solution to your problem is to make your problem even worse 😂

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Worse. I'm a security person. Ultra paranoid.

... which doesn't mean that they are not out to get me, you know.

I see.

I had a locksmith turn up to fix a door lock. It turned out he was a policeman by day, whose job it was to break into houses. He spoke to the locksmith they would call out after breaking in and realised it was an easy job that could make him some extra money.

As a locksmith and police officer, he tried to convince me to upgrade the lock as there were better and more secure options.

He didn't understand when I explained that somehow the door had locked shut and that we don't want to lock it at all.

He couldn't fathom that we didn't bother locking our doors in the village. In fact, in the summer we would leave our doors open.

When he tried to explain the risks of burglary, he couldn't understand when I told him the last crime to have happened in our village was in 1887, when the local mill owner had shot his daughters lover.

The villagers provided justice by burning down the mill and hanging the mill owner 😂

All true!