This is how you can host your own nostr relay btw (no docker because I don't like two levels of virtualisation)
Discussion
Yours is the only guide that has worked for me, thank you very much for putting it together. I'd like to make the relay private (whitelist only my npub) but unfortunately my linux skills are not great so I'm a little unclear on where is the config.toml file for the relay ended up. Can you direct me to the location? I'd be happy to zap you some sats and buy you lunch in exchange for your assistance in getting the relay private.