Nostr is both frustrating and invigorating. I'm on the cusp of writing a desktop client because the current options are pretty rough.
Discussion
give https://lume.nu a go
Have you tried gossip?
what technology should it use to be good?
Lume and Gossip are okay, but nothing I would consider a daily driver for desktop, at least IMO. They are both early and I am hopeful to watch them improve. I am also looking forward to seeing what you come up with, adding to this space.