They are.

My big pet peeve when I talk to friends and family are when “you can’t say that” comes out.

Especially for something non-controversial. Or fumbling around for the right word to describe an individual who broke the law and is now in a country they didn’t properly immigrate into (for example). Self censorship level is crazy.

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I hear you.

I try to remind myself that there is crazy pressure on every front to self censor, some overt and others on a psychological level. The enemies of free speech have weaponized our humanity against ourselves.

To offend a protected group in any way is an unforgivable sin. That which is offensive is ever changing. The rules, by design, are unknowable. People will say, or not say, anything to avoid being identified as a racist, homophobe, transphobe, or whatever the next taboo will be.

It would take a person with iron resolve in their principles, and knowledge of the true intentions of such censorship - total control.

Most people aren't principled, and the intentions are well masked. Even asking questions has its own set of toxic labels.