Finally connected to my private Nostr node. Followed this guide but needed two changes to make it work 1: needed to add my server admin to docker group 2: needed to register my relay as ws:// not wss. Not sure why but anyway seems to be working now.

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Guide here https://andreneves.xyz/p/set-up-a-nostr-relay-server-in-under I am guessing something with my ssl is screwed up and ws is same as encrypted http? something like that so I'm currently at risk of some kind of man in the middle attack.