Welcome to the world of being a man. Help isn't coming.
https://shitpost.cloud/media/8187ffc0-916a-42fb-b756-1b4a5d973f1d/5e2hb5.mp4
Discussion
Maybe people can't find good godly community for the same reason a criminal can't find an police officer. They are actively avoiding it while recognizing they need it. Go to church friend. They will honestly judge you and hate you infinitely less than you judge and hate yourself.