I dont see myself being able to make friends with women again which is a huge issue for me personally having always been a feminist and a woman…

Its a conundrum and I havent found a solution for it yet.

The narrative of expression about my anger is too much manifested in the masculine abuse pattern toward women. Its quite terrible but without this narrative my anger couldn’t be expressed in words.

I guess thats where trauma sets in as a way of expressing the inability to understand the hurtful behaviour from others.

In this regard Ive realised that sadly when you’re beating physically or verbally or energetic a woman to her breaking point the automatic submissive part of the human appears in abuse cases its sadly not a willing space that women go into.

People that practice bdsm or have educated themselves on these practises know that subspace is a sacred place. Sadly the mechanism of the psyche brings you to a similar point even through abuse bc if you can leave you have to endure and in a situation like this the submissive part that appears and has no safety or anker point is likey to feel lost and creates with chaos,fear and trauma.

Ive met some women that are empaths or so they say(imo everyones an empath) in the last years that are actively practicing bdsm in their relationship what i id realise is that “feeding” off of other womens traumas to get to that pleasure point isn’t something that most victims would appreciate.

The narrative of we as 1 one women is a protective form of expression yet not in a global scale you can only do this with the consent of the victim and i doubt that anyone would feel/think that strangers that are trying to get to a point of pleasure are truly invested in the victims healing.

Its feeding off of other ppls energy and that would fall more into the energy vampire category.

So with this said I dont think abusive behaviour towards women is ever something that should happen yet there has to be a space created to let out your anger in a way that doesnt hurt others.

Physical activity, screaming, crying. Whatever you want just do t make it a birth.

I dont believe that turning anger into meditation is an accurate expression of humans.

Mediation changes the brain but why would you deactivate your fight pattern as a woman..

I think most of these calming modalities were created for the masculine side of life not the feminine one. That one should go boxing.