From my learning nostr is similar to Mastodon in that nodes can be spun up to host the platform, I’m definitely looking into wallets now!

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Yeah, it’s a bit different in that there are no instances. Nostr is a protocol that any client can connect to and you choose your own relays. In theory you could just have a relay for yourself and those you invite that no one else can publish to, but that’s not how it’s generally used.