One last flux before I sleep pray for me that I do not see. Dreams are a thing but it can be good or bad it's still a dream I haven't had a good one in years yes it's true my mind lives in nightmares. Parallel fates no way to escape even if i'm awake i'm still afraid.
Who could understand only someone whis been betrayed but I don't need someone to relate. Talking is not an answer neither is psychology or a pill what I need is a cleansing to relief & escape from hell. I never thought norse mythology could have something in it's myths that's actually right. Hell isn't a burning plane ran by a big red demon Hell is what they say all your bad imaginations come to manifestation a place with infinte space big or small your imagination develops it's pressure & weight.
I think through interpertations that Hell is your mind & if your already there you know it's impossible to escape. You are the demon, tortured, torturer, & the feeling of pain. Only someone who hits your 5 points can create a doorway for you to escape.
If you don't believe hell is really your mind ask yourself this why does it feel so god damn good when someone runs their fingers through your hair rubbing your head? When your temples hurt why does it feel like fingers pressed or nails digging in? Hell is not somewhere we go to we build it in our lifetime.
Whats the cure whats the cure sex? No no no at least not alone. You can fuck as much as you please but it won't bring your mind at ease it will only amplify your frustrations. Smoke some cannabis sure that calms the mind but doesn't stop it. The only possibility to be free is to inject yourself with DMT. I speculate & hope someday I am right because until then my tormented soul takes flight & I let out my pitch all night.
Some people just don't want to talk they want to feel it. I'm one of those & it's hard to feel when your worlds nothing but stone, ash, & bones. In the center lies what was once your crest now it's your body lying in sut but your not dead.
Walking like damaged goods fractured in the head the only thing that's worse is lying down in bed. A glimpse in the corner of your eye turns you read because it's your Hell manifesting again.
If someone could give anything to make this go away. Finnancial security, bud, head rubbing, & bjs for 6 months straight might do it. Who knows you might read all of this & think well it's fucking stupid. Thats okay you don't get it so the only thing you can do is lose it.
Understand?
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