What you’re experiencing is called survivors guilt. Which is a valid and normal thing to feel. It doesn’t mean you have to feel guilty for protecting yourself though.

My advice? Don’t waste time wondering if you’re complicit (you’re not). Put your own oxygen mask on and then assist others. That’s how you alleviate the dissonance caused by knowing ahead of others.

Your responsibility isn’t to question your part in the sinking of the ship, but to Shepard people onto the lifeboats.