Can you explain? It does seem like there arent that many relays to chose from
Discussion
There are thousands of relays. Here are the ones that have been found: https://nostr.watch
Relays come and go all of the time.
Besides, with the outbox model, every single human could run their own relay and we wouldn't need large public relays.
Here's more information for your knowledge hole about the outbox model.
Go to nostr.net and choose relay from the navigation menu. There's a TON of relays.
How's the average person know that safest ones to choose? Seems like a shot in the dark
It kind of is. I dont know that "safe" is necessarily a criteria... i don't think connecting to a relay exposes anything other than the notes you send to it. And all notes posted to nostr should be done assuming it's for public consumption anyways.
Generally bigger relays will have more connected users providing further reach (caveat outbox model per derek). I think its more important checking the uptime of a particular relay and if there are any/many errors. I know you can see this info in amythest. Not sure abt any other client.