This was my next question. If you are connected to one relay... does it aggregate with others and share info.

The question begs tho of how much "power" or ownership /control does a relay have ove the content a user creates.

This leads me to think the BEST way to utilize Nostr would be to host your own relay or maybe figure it out with a few people you trust and want to manage together.

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Only relays that have multiplexing/mirroring do that, like wss://relay.nostrgaph.net and wss://nos.lol

power/ownership in what sense?

My question was... if my notes and other stuff "live" on any relay... who is owning and theoretically and practically owning this data? Me... ? Or the relay?

An interesting point to consider.

The maximal way to really own and control your data would be to host your own relay.