There are even bigger corporate and governmental interests for Bitcoin to not scale so millions of users get onboarded via exchanges and never leave their custody due to high fees.

These parties would also be unhappy if Bitcoin gained more privacy/fungibility. Think about the million dollar blockchain analysis contracts that will look silly.

Controlling a majority of the miners is not that easy.

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The thing holding back onboarding is not fees. It's confidence. The thing holding some folks from self custody is not fees. It's (perceived IMO) complexity or risk associated with self custody.

Mix in these shitcoin sidechains and I almost guarantee people associate Bitcoin even more with affinity scams, rug pulls, etc. This is a solution in search of a problem. Or worse, it's the same shitcoin arguments wearing a trenchcoat and tophat of needing to scale Bitcoin when we already have real layer 2 solutions like lightning for scaling, privacy.