You will own nothing and you will be happy
Discussion
I see what you did there. 😂
I own plenty of physical goods. The more Bitcoin I have the more physical tangible goods I can exchange it for. This exchange rate increases in my favor over time because of Bitcoins absolute scarcity. Your problem was thinking that the money must be tangible. Money does not require tangibility / physicality. It requires trust from the people that might use it that it's monetary policy and properties do not change. #Bitcoin achieves this.
If you disagree, please explain why money must be physical.
Money must be physical because it must be a commodity - it arises out of real exchange in the market of real goods. You could not have a leader create some new paper currency out of nothing and impose it - how would anyone know what prices to charge?
See Mises' regression theorem - the value of BTC derives from fiat which derives from gold which derives from the physical use to which gold may be put.
If aliens came & reprogrammed our brains to find gold ugly & useless (for jewelry, filling teeth, scanning electron microscopes, etc) then I would predict it's market value (as measured in oil or salt or meat etc) to drop dramatically.