That stinks. It's happened to me a few times. I've found that it happens when I switch clients and the two clients don't have the same relays. For example I had to re-add all the relays to nostgram.co. Luckily there is a tool on there to restore.

Will be much better when it doesn't happen and things sync more seamlessly.

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It's this thing on the account page in case you need it

My assumption was that my selected relays would belong to my key somehow rather than the clients, but what do I know? 😅

Me too, Snort/iris did a good job of syncing my relays but a couple other clients missed them. So now I go check.