I'm prepping to go be all fancy at a friend's wedding, so I went to the store to buy a strapless bra and try some of those shape wear things... OMG, trying to shove your body into those restraints under florescent lighting is a scarring experience.

I am a horrific monster. Apparently nothing on my body is in the right place. I am just a mushy sack of lumps and rolls. I am truly baffled that anyone has ever found me attractive. My sincerest apologies to anyone who has ever endured seeing me naked.