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You sound like you need to move somewhere better. I have amazing night viewing, and Starlink to write this lote, lol

I have almost no light pollution.

There are horrible moving specs everywhere. Not "amazing".

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Starlink satellites are not visible to the naked eye once in orbit.

Perhaps a visit to the eye doctor is in order.

That is factually inorrect. I must have darker skies / better eyes than you.

To be fair most of the space dusts I'm seeing aren't SL but plenty of them are.

Dude, they are like 6' wide, and 350 miles away. You aren't seeing Starlink sats with your naked eyes.