in the end, my attempt at a personal nip05 has failed. I'm considering a 3rd party service.

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Where are you getting hung up on it, and have you seen this guide?

https://orangepill.dev/nostr-guides/guide-to-verify-nostr-profile-nip05-identifier-with-your-domain/

thanks for the link! my trouble was not really understanding how web servers work. I've since taken the time to learn a little more. This guide will help me, I appreciate it.

Good luck!