Dear Benny,

Christians and Muslims can deal with any coexistence issues amicably, in fact so amicably we’re forming a “New Front” defending ourselves from Zionist subjugation and rooting out our ZOGs.

Both Muslims and Christians fully support the establishment of the fabulous Jewish homeland in Russia Masha Gessen opined about, the Birobidzhan Jewish Autonomous Oblast, to be followed by the de-diaspora of jews worldwide.

The plan of creating a homeland for Jews in Birobidzhan consists of shipping numerous Russian Jews off to the easternmost fringes of the vast Russian landmass so that they could play at being an autonomous nation within the big happy family of Soviet nations under the benevolent guidance of Comrade Stalin.

Once there, these thoroughly secular Jews would build a homeland that rivaling the Zionist project in Palestine, WITHOUT the need for GENOCIDE and THEFT (so sorry to disappoint!) and create a whole new Jew with a whole new Jewish identity: a staunchly socialist Jew speaking Yiddish (a language adopted for Birobidzhan instead of Hebrew, a tongue seen as tainted by its association with Zionism) so as to sing the praises of Stalin and extol the virtues of Marxism-Leninism.

Once they are relocated and reunified we then plan to welcome free-trade with whatever goods and services they are able to produce for export and have bilaterally agreed to provide (within reason) public assistance while they diligently learn to PRODUCE ANYTHING of VALUE. Our benevolence is not without limits and are currently deliberating the term LIMITS for this charity (currently somewhere between two and six thousand years).