Subnostr

Feeling vulnerable posting this, but I’m going to take the risk:

What’s a respectable dating site for people who don’t live in a major city-center in the US? Like useful for people who need to search a 40 or 60 mile radius to find someone who draws them into their planet?

I mean, I’m normal, successful, well-liked and regarded, in good shape, and don’t identify as anything in particular. I like women who are authentic in who they are. Yet that said, I’m very discerning, hence this request.

But the thing is, I live in an amazingly wonderful small town in Wisconsin that I love, yet for years now I haven’t found any women available I’m interested in.

I’m very much independent, not an addict, enjoy people just being themselves. But in the place I love to live in, I can’t find a woman I’m drawn to be with, so looking to branch out. But that’s really impossible to do without a dating site.

And I don’t want to fuck around and find out which is best. So hoping someone has some user-experience insight to offer. Thx in advance!

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Discussion

PaddleManJoe 2y ago

Online dating is difficult and most platforms are attention mining trash. I think any of the normally used ones still work, just need to set a large enough search radius.

I met my now wife on Hinge. I liked it because it keeps you from mindlessly swiping. Less matches, but most of them turned into a nice correspondence.

Narwhal Tacos 2y ago

So I totally appreciate you, but some site I’ve never heard of called “hinge” is what I’m maybe expected to supposed to be at as a well-off man in good shape in my late 40’s?

I get now why 20-somethings are complaining that there are ‘no real women out there’.

There are no real women out there.

PaddleManJoe 2y ago

Just an option. Unfortunately everyone is siloed off into little ponds and it is hard to meet people in real life. I would have never ran across my now wife in society and if I did not use online dating. And she only lived like 6 miles away.

Be careful about the narritive you spin for yourself. If its too pessimistic you might end up in a downward spiral of despair. I did that I think. I was kind of a miserable and boring person, anytime I sporadically found an attractive lady, that dark cloud hanging over me scared her off, and I was left with more evidence that women just suck. Eventually I just snapped and tried to live life pretending I was happy single. Strangely, that made me more sane and more attractive. It gave me a little peace in the meantime, and I started a bunch of new hobbies, those new hobbies made me more friends, and that wider social circle brought me into contact with more women, whom I could get to know without the whole dating burden hanging over us.

Anyway, what I am saying is tell yourself a better story. It is self fullfilling. "There is a lady out there that I can serve well and she'll appreciate me. Maybe I will find her maybe I won't, but I'll build my life and be ready for what comes either way." Now that I like more than just: "women suck there aren't any real women." I know "stay positive" is a lame platitude, but there is a little bit of truth to it.

It sucks out there man, I'm sorry. I was out there with you until recently, I spent nearly a decade single. Unfortunately fiat culture has messed everyone up and most women are all confused about what they want. Just keep lines in the water and live life and try to become the most interesting and attractive person you can possibly be, if that doesn't snag a lady, then at least life will be more interesting (and hopefully more fulfilling) because of that pursuit.

Not really claiming to be a "life master" here. Figured that you might be experiencing a little of what I did.

ContrarianAgrarian 2y ago

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