What kind of bizarro clown world did I wake up in?

The FED bank of Minneapolis wrote about "useless pieces of paper (bitcoin for short)" and that "the price of bitcoin converges to zero."

Umm...considered fiat currency?

And yet, the only solutions to this alleged bitcoin problem is to either ban it (a "legal prohibition against bitcoin") or tax it.

Somehow, bitcoin is worthless and headed to zero, but yet it's still worthy of being taxed so as to balance deficits.

I'm so confused.