so lemme see if i have all this Roman Empire soap opera stuff straight...

Creepy Grampa Biden stole a bunch of classified documents to get source material to help sell a book he was writing.

Reality Show Star Trump's team found out Creepy Grampa Biden kept all those classified documents in his garage next to his Corvette.

Creepy Grampa Biden's Team found out the Reality Show Star Trump Team knew about it, so Creepy Grampa Biden Team member, and domestic terrorist Merrick Garland collaborated with someone in the National Archives to claim Reality Show Star Trump had documents too.

Creepy Grampa Biden Team member and domestic terrorist Merrick Garland then contacted the criminals in the Miami FBI field office, to get them to draft a warrant for Reality Show Star Trumps pretend documents, since the criminals in the Palm Beach office are slightly less criminal than the criminals in the Miami field office, and they might ask questions.

Then all the Merrick Garland mini-me criminals jumped into large black vehicles paid for with extorted tax funds, and they raced over to Reality Show Star Trumps terribly decorated Estate with a warrant that unusually specified authorization for Use of Deadly Force if anything "went wrong". There they searched through Reality Show Star Trump's wife's underwear, looking for stolen nuclear codes, hoping for a chance to shoot Reality Show Star Trump.

But to their great disappointment, Reality Show Star Trump was away at a billionaire party, and they all went home sad at not being able to shoot anyone that day.

And now, Creepy Grampa Biden, and all his angry womens clothing stealing criminals, are big mad that all of their attempts to destroy and kill Reality Show Star Trump are failing miserably, and making them look like the worst episode of KeyStone Cops.

I think that brings us up to today...