On Amethyst it's found in the purple settings icon when on profile page.

On web clients such as Iris.to, head to edit profile to find the lightning address field.

Log in with your private key on any client, add your Lightning address, then it'll by associated with your private key and available on all clients.

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Discussion

How does one connect on Damus?

That's a good question, I've never tried it I'm not on iOS.

you could use your phone's web browser to sign in to Iris.to with your private key and set it from there.

Surely someone on here using Damus can help you tho.